One of the perks of being pregnant is having humongous breasts. Although I’ve always thought of myself as well-endowed, I now realize how wrong I was – from a 36B, I am now a 38B. The difference can be seen when I wear gaping necklines. The cleavage is just amazing! The sperm donor seems to appreciate my new bra size, except for the fact that I am leaking colostrum.

Aside from the breastmilk dilemma, there’s also the matter of having uber sensitive breasts. My assets are aching all the time, and there’s this tingling sensation that never goes away. I don’t understand if they want to be touched or just left alone. Another discomfiting feature is the darkened areola and bigger nipples. I’m not sure if this is even a problem, but I have always ridiculed my friends for having dark nipples because I inherited good breast genes from my grandmother. On the outside, my boobs look amazing; but when I look at my nakedness in the mirror, I just want to curl up and die. I hope they go back to being small and pinkish when I give birth.

Maternity bras are sooo expensive! But they give great support, except after you take them off and you release them after a whole day of being trapped in fabric. I’ve been on the hunt, and so far, I’ve found only two. The funny thing is that they were inside my closet all this time. My mom gave them to me when she came for a visit. She wore them for her physical therapy sessions. However, they are so unfashionable – these look like granny bras. But they’re very comfortable, my back is well supported and they didn’t cost me a dime.

I know a lot of moms out there are probably having the same thoughts, because we want to protect our assets. The good news is that we are not alone! There are millions of us suffering (or not!). The only thing I can do now is to weather out the pregnancy as best as I can, not think about whether my breasts look disgusting or tasty (LOL), and focus on shopping for the new babe.