I don’t want to preach about the benefits of breastfeeding. For one thing, I didn’t breastfeed my son long enough to have enough experience. I had a terrible bout with ulcer after giving birth, and the only medication I could use wasn’t meant for breastfeeding mothers. Second, there are already a lot of sites promoting breastfeeding.

What I’d like to discuss is more personal. We’re often enthusiastic about breastfeeding, especially if we’re having our first baby. We’ve heard stories from other moms. We’ve seen commercials on TV. This excitement wanes when we start lumbering around like giant ducks with bulging bellies, huge breasts and bigger behinds. We then give birth and realize that it wasn’t as easy as they said it would be. We became enamored with the baby and the whole concept of child rearing way too early in the pregnancy, we end feeding with formula.

I saw firsthand how breastfeeding physically affects the breasts. My mom’s cousin opened her blouse to feed her two year old son, and the longest nipple I have ever seen in my whole life just popped out. If you’ve seen those big crayons for toddlers, you know what I’m talking about. I could have sworn the nipples were 3 inches long. It would have been better if the nipples had similar lengths, but that wasn’t the case. Her right bust looked absolutely normal. This experience probably scared the shit out of me. I’m not married and I want to preserve my assets. Unfortunately, I didn’t consider age, gravity and weight gain. I have normal sized breasts, but I’m turning 30 next year so you can just imagine how the laws of reality have changed my appearance.

Aside from the obvious physical changes, modesty seems to disappear. I have seen women take out their breasts in public to feed their children. For one thing, would you eat your lunch while riding in a public vehicle? Would you have dinner inside a bookstore while everyone gawks at your meal? A lot of people can’t handle the idea of seeing moms breastfeeding in public; and we have to understand them as well. We may be mothers, but that doesn’t mean we have to disrespect other people just because we have the right to breastfeed. If we want others to respect our choices, we have to be considerate of other people, too. There are breastfeeding cubicles in malls, there are products to make breastfeeding more discreet. I urge mothers to utilize all these options before popping out their breasts in full view of strangers.

Bottle feeding is necessary for a lot of mothers, especially those that need to undergo medication or medical procedures. Don’t feel ashamed if you can’t and don’t breastfeed, it’s a choice that you made (or will make) and there’s no need to be embarrassed if your breasts can’t produce milk. Don’t be offended by breastfeeding moms who treat bottle-feeding moms like ignorant women; we’re not! We just made the decision, or was forced, to forego breastfeeding and we have to be respected. Bottle feeding also has a lot of advantages, especially for mothers who need to go to work and leave their children with nannies or relatives. Science has also made it possible for formulas to contain as much nutrients as your baby will need to grow up healthy.

I’m not trying to differentiate what’s good and bad; I just want moms to know that whatever you decide to do, it should be for the best interest of our children.