No, I don’t mean that you buy them designer clothes or every game console and toy available in Toy Kingdom. I mean that you should love them with all of your heart, and provide everything that they need in order for them to grow up to be good people.

It’s really sad that a lot of single moms forget that a good education is key to a bright future. They send their children to schools which I believe are not fit for their children.

I have a friend who sends her daughter to a school near their home. 30 children are cramped in a small room with only 2 ceiling fans ventilating the whole classroom. Her daughter is a scholar and is at the top of her class. I don’t mean to belittle the school, but from my point of view, the little girl should be sent to a better private school where she can improve more.

I have another friend who sends her son to an expensive private school. She’s well known in the cashier’s office because every month she comes in to fill out a promissory note. It’s embarrassing for her, but her son is intelligent, is constantly bringing home high grades and is a member of his school’s varsity team. She would rather face the constant embarrassment of paying late for the tuition fee, than send her son to a mediocre school.

We all have different priorities, and these two friends of mine have chosen differently. The 1st friend chooses to spend her hard earned money having monthly expensive hair treatments. She regularly goes out with friends and can’t live without her daily dose of Starbucks coffee. The 2nd friend puts away 20% of her salary every payday so she can pay for tuition. She brings home cooked lunch, sells e-load to office mates, and works as a part time real estate agent.

Speaking of priorities, we often mistake our responsibilities as a way of sacrificing for our children. Let me just get this one straightened out. You have a responsibility to feed and clothe your children. You are not sacrificing 500/week so they can have food to eat while in school. Don’t think that you are sacrificing your weekly foot scrub so that you can buy your kid a new pair of shoes. Big difference there. So stop complaining. Your children are your responsibility and they rely on you for everything, just as you relied on your parents. If, while growing up, you heard your parents complaining about raising you, then that’s a different story as you probably learned this attitude from them. You can either choose to be like them, or be a better provider – the kind that doesn’t complain.

Develop your children’s talents and inspire them. Let them enjoy their hobbies and interests. I used to tell my son that play-doh is a waste of money. I even remember telling him that he wasted money buying an art set that he used only once. It was a mistake, because he stopped being creative and instead started only wanting cheap toys that broke easily. I know better now and I buy him toys that he wants and enjoys tinkering with; like the Neo Shifters that he can’t stop playing with.

I believe that we have to give our kids every opportunity to grow, learn and experience. Don’t think that you’re wasting money. There are lessons learned. I, for one, realized that my son has a good singing voice but will probably never learn to play any instrument. His guitar is packed somewhere in our closet.

Growing up, we didn’t have enough money for my voice lessons, so I had to make do with a small cassette player and minus one tape that my dad bought as a birthday gift for me. Oh, I just loved performing for my neighbors. They probably memorized “Somewhere out there” because of me. The point I’m driving at is that you don’t have to spend tons of money, you just have to be resourceful.

When my son and I go out to watch a movie or have dinner at Fazoli’s (his favorite place), he calls it “Private Time”. I often date my son, and I make sure that all of my attention is focused on him. I don’t tinker with my cell phone, or act like I’m about ready to go while he’s still eating or playing arcade games. Every night, before we go to sleep, I call him in my room and we talk. Although I can’t relate to much of what he’s telling me about, I enjoy listening to the sound of his voice. After a tiring day of work, his laughter relaxes me. Some people will have two bottles of beer (only counting the first and last bottle, mind you), coffee with friends or a massage. What I have is a huge dose of love and affection from my son. Believe me, it’s way better than having a stranger knead your aching muscles.

Other simple ways to love your kids excessively:
1. Let them learn on their own. My son is addicted to playing online games, and goes to bed in the wee hours of the morning. He learned his lesson when I woke him up early to do some grocery shopping with me. He couldn’t keep his eyes open and wasn’t able to buy a new toy.
2. Help them with their homework or review for exams. This is a great bonding experience. You’ll also learn to be more patient and understanding.
3. Have meals together. I make it a point to have both lunch and dinner with my son. So for those asking how I was able to fatten up my kid, this is the only fool proof way of making sure that your child is eating healthy.
4. Attend school programs. Don’t you just love watching your kid perform a song or dance number? I do! Even if it means that I have to take a whole morning off from work, I’m always there to watch. The look on my son’s face when he sees me sitting in the audience is priceless. That rush of pride and joy I feel when I see him dancing is incomparable.

Your kids deserve only the best!